Don’t Mock My ‘Mocking

Written by Molly Klima

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I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it’s kind of summer out there, you know, beyond the library window that you’re looking through as you watch Netflix study. The increased sunlight and warmer temperatures have all clued you in, I’m sure, but I know that something else has too… The hammocks.

 

They’re in the Superblock. They’re in the Knoll. They’re in that weird green space by the Psychology building on East Bank that no one evers goes to. They come in all different colors and sizes, and sometimes they’re stacked, and now all your friends are talking about going ‘mocking this afternoon.

 

I had known about this phenomenon for a while after my sister accidentally stole found an Eno during a track meet sometime last year, and though I thought it was cool, it wasn’t something I was quite ready to buy into. Then about six inches melted off the tops of the street-side blizzard banks in Dinky and the temperature crested 40, so I ordered one off of Amazon (and tree straps, too) for $25.

 

Friends, let me tell you, I have seen the light. I don’t go anywhere without my hammock now; I’m ready to set up shop at any time, just send me a text. But if you’re still unconvinced by the commercial-happy, laughing people enjoying the weather across campus right now in their comfortable cradles, here are six reasons for you to change your mind.

 

They're Relaxing. Obviously

It’s finals. We’re all ready to destress and be warm and cozy while wrapped in light, breathable, parachute fabric. Studying in a cocoon of happiness courtesy of Amazon Prime sounds much better than hunching over in the basement level of Walter. Or worse, any packed Starbucks with a thirty minute wait. If you think you don’t want to gently swing from two majestic trees like the delicate nature baby you are, you’re kidding yourself.

 

It Can Be A Social Activity (Or Not).

Whether you stack ‘em or pack ‘em, hammocks are often a group affair, conducive to gossiping studying and catching up with Taylor from your fall semester class who you swore you were going to hang out with more. If that doesn’t sound like your cup of tea or if your roommates are driving you up a wall, escape to the silence and solidarity of your colorful nest and take a breather with a book.

 

It's Local.

Apparently, ‘mocking started in Minneapolis? Circa 2015, the city is credited with starting the hammocking trend that continues today. Show your support and turn out for National Hammock Day on July 22.

 

It's Surprisingly Healthy?

Supposedly, napping in a hammock is healthier than napping in your campus desk chair bean bag neighbor’s futon bed. The swaying motion puts you to sleep faster, your joints don’t get as traumatized as they do on a traditional mattress, and dust mites won’t stick around. Why go to Boynton when you can just jump in your hammock and nap for the same amount of time that you’d spend filling out forms or standing in line?

 

They're Low Maintenance

Hammocks can be stuffed into their own attached bag and become the size of a Nalgene water bottle in less than a minute. And if you hang it with tree straps, you’ll be ready to start swinging in two. Most are machine washable, super durable, and hella portable. More time to spend focusing on your last few days of studying, right?

 

You're Being Peer Pressured Anyway.

You think those hammockers are out in the Knoll in force just because they like to be? No, this is another one of those low-key college cults that you’ll eventually join one way or another. You might as well cave now and enjoy doing it with a group of friends before the weather turns bad again and your lovely cocoon has to be put into hibernation for another unending winter.