15 Things That Happen When You Shop at Target

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Online shopping is more popular now than ever before. People ask: “why go all the way out to a store to get something when you can have it delivered straight to your door?” But I wonder: “why have something delivered to you and miss out on the fun of the store?” There is only one store that I believe this applies to, though, and that store is Target. Yes, Minnesota’s own pride and joy, the Big Red Bullseye, gives me so much joy that I can’t bring myself to order online. I have personally worked at a Target store since my junior year of high school (I’m now a senior in college). One might think that working there would make me jaded to the Target shopping experience, but I get as much joy out of shopping there as any other c̶u̶s̶t̶o̶m̶e̶r̶ guest. The Target experience goes a little something like this:

 

1.     Finding a spot right by the door.

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True Target addicts know all the best places to park.

2.     Walking through the automatic doors and immediately feeling a rush of excitement.

‘But’, you promise yourself, ‘you have to be quick and just pick up more shampoo, orange juice, and bread. DO NOT GET DISTRACTED.’

3.     Making that stressful choice between a cart and a basket.

‘I know I only really need a basket, but what if my arm gets tired carrying all my stuff? Ugh, whatever, I’m getting a cart.’

4.     Spotting the dollar section and not being able to resist “just looking.”

‘Oooh, fun! Mini chalkboard signs! I definitely have things I need to have signs by in my new apartment.’

5.     Immediately being faced with cute new clothes after trying to walk away from the dollar section.

‘They already have spring stuff out?! It’s 40 degrees outside! ...Wait, that shirt is cute.’

6.     Suddenly finding yourself carrying 7 items into the fitting room.

True Target addicts also know that the item limit in the fitting room is 6, but you know the fitting room attendants at your store are super ~chill and they let it slide.

7.     Justifying the purchase of at least 1 out of 7 items you tried on.

‘I swear, I have no spring clothes.’

8.     Regaining focus and trying to walk away from the fitting room to grocery when you get sidetracked by the books…

‘I really should start reading for fun again.’

9.     … and the home decor…

YOU GET A CANDLE, YOU GET A CANDLE, YOU GET A CANDLE! EVERYONE GETS A CANDLE!

10.  ...and the office supplies.

‘OMG, my cubicle would look so ~sophisticated if I had a gold stapler.’

11.  Finally remembering you need shampoo and spending at least 5 minutes smelling the 27349 different kinds of shampoo available.

...But probably just getting what you normally buy anyway.

12.  Checking your phone and realizing how late it’s getting (‘have I really been in here for an hour?!’) and heading for the checkout.

This is typically where the anxiety starts to set in, because you know you totally blew your now long-forgotten promise to yourself. ‘I got everything, right?’

13.  Your cashier is so friendly and chatty she almost distracts you from your terror when she sweetly says, “your total is $89.64!”

‘Wait, what?!’

14.  Quickly getting over your regrets in the parking lot when you realize how much fun stuff you got.

‘Can’t wait to light those candles!’

15.  Twenty minutes later, you realize you forgot orange juice and bread.

Looks like I’ll just have to go back again tomorrow. Darn.

- Sarah Lundberg